Architecture of the Third Impact
by Nauta
Summary: "I may look like her; I may have the same name, even the same soul. But I am not her."
1. The Third

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Disclaimer: Naturally, I don't own nor have any rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion or any of the characters, because I am not Gainax. I am not using these characters with the permission of Gainax or anyone involved. I am not using this for profit, just entertainment, so please be kind and don't sue me. 

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Author's Notes: Contains spoilers for episodes 23 - End of Eva. Reviews would be very much appreciated, thanks! Rated R for [future] violence, language.

*******

The familiar noise of construction and creaking buildings rang the alarm earlier than usual that morning, but the girl whose apartment the noise assaulted was already awake. She lay silently in her bed, staring up at the cracked plaster ceiling blankly, her crimson eyes empty. She tried hard to remember things that had happened to her before today, but she could not. Even the recent days before were lost to her, and she couldn't remember anything clearly before the haziness of yesterday. '_I had not lived before yesterday.'_ The words meant nothing to her, elicited no emotion. She was the third. There had been two before her, and it meant nothing to her. All of the people she had seen since then, the Commander, his son, Dr. Akagi..._She _had known them, but they were only vaguely familiar to her now. 

The Commander...'_I require you to see me tomorrow morning, Rei.'_ The Commander's words had seemed somehow...suspicious to her. She suspected that they had been said many times before, for they resonated with a strange familiarity within her. But she was certain she had never had these words spoken to her. 

"Commander Ikari." She said the words aloud, testing their familiarity in her mouth. "Who are you?"

Slowly she swung her legs off the bed and stood up, and made her way to the small mirror hanging on her browning wall. She stared at the reflection of a being she couldn't really be sure was herself. She turned away, noticing the objects strewn upon her dresser. There lay a pair of glasses she was sure belonged to him. She lifted them to her face and examined them closely, as though they would give her an indication of his relationship to her. '_What do you want from me?' _Frowning slowly down at the cracked glasses she held, she heard suddenly eerily satisfying crack of broken glass and plastic. Looking again, she realised that the Commander's glasses now lay twisted and destroyed in her hands. She stared, stunned, when a splash on the shattered glass startled her. She blinked a few times quickly, to notice that tears were sliding down her cheeks. "Is this a tear?" She sounded surprised, bewildered. "I'm seeing this for the first time, but it feels familiar. Am I crying?" Rei frowned, confused, at the tears across the Commander's broken glasses. "Why am I crying?" She felt angry, that this should make her cry, that something was upsetting her that she couldn't remember, something that would compel her to crush the glasses she held. '_What do you want from me, Commander?'_

*

Rei Ayanami stood in front of Gendo Ikari's desk, staring at him expectantly as he watched her from behind dark glasses, his hands folded to hide his mouth. "You were expecting me, Commander." 

"You know of your purpose, of course, Rei? Why I need you so."

"I have been briefed," she replied flatly. Gendo nodded, stood up, and walked around his desk to stand close to her, raising his hand to rest upon her cheek. "You're perfect," he said fondly, stroking her soft blue hair from her face. "And I have given you life." Rei said nothing, observing him, and he stepped closer and his mouth twitched in what she supposed was a smile. "I have created you, Rei. You owe me, your creator, your life. You...owe me everything."

Rei hesitated. "Yes, sir," she said finally, turning her face away. Her first instinct had been to so reply, obediently, but she had hesitated when she realised she didn't know why she felt compelled to obey him.

"You were always so loyal, so obedient," he continued, his hand, still gloved, dropping to her shoulder. Her eyes flashed in the direction of the door behind him, but she remained unmoving, as though bolted to the floor by the hand on her shoulder. "You have always been so perfect. You have never disappointed me before. So naturally I expect nothing less than complete loyalty from you." She frowned, nearly imperceptibly, but Gendo caught it, and lifted her face to force her to look into his eyes, which were burning with an emotion she didn't recognise, but which frightened her. "You owe me _everything_, Rei. I have given you everything. You owe me your life."

His hand on her chin was strong and she held in a whimper of pain. She found herself fighting back the hot sting of tears, but she nodded shallowly. "Yes, sir." Her voice was barely a whisper. She was to obey him, then: this was her relationship with him. He was her Commander, and she, well, it was her purpose, then, to obey him. But as he firmly and insistently pushed her to her knees before him, she allowed the tears to slip from her blood-red eyes and pour down her cheeks, hidden to him. She closed her eyes so that she wouldn't have to see.

*

Rei stood shaking in the shower of her broken apartment. She had run as fast as she could away from him after leaving his office, but still she felt she would never be far enough. She scrubbed at her body until her skin was red and sore, desperate to cleanse herself. She could still feel his hands on her body, still feel him inside her, and she felt unclean, and ashamed. Tears poured down her cheeks and mixed with the warm water cascading down her body, and she cried, holding herself tightly. Blood dripped down the insides of her thighs, but she tried her best to ignore it, to ignore the pain inside her. '_I owe the Commander everything,' _she repeated to herself, chanting it over and over. '_I owe the Commander my life. I am to obey the Commander.'_

"I owe the Commander everything." But even aloud the words were hard to swallow, and felt empty and regurgitated. She squeezed her eyes shut tight as she tried to convince herself of his words, tried to justify him to herself. "I...I belong to the Commander." But no matter how hard she thought, she could not reconcile herself to what her Commander had done to her. She stared down at the blood on her thighs, and frowned. He had made her bleed. She would not accept any Commander who hurt her for reasons she didn't know. He had used her like a doll, as though she existed for his pleasure alone. But somewhere in her heart she knew she did not. '_I may look like her; I may have the same name, even the same soul. But I am not her.' _"I am _not_ her!"

Rei had vague memories of her. _She_ had loved the Commander, she knew. It had taken years of conditioning, but she had accepted what he had done with her, because his was the only touch he had ever known. He had taken care of her; he had created her. She believed him: she felt she did owe him everything. "But I am not her," Rei repeated, louder, more daring. "He will not use me like he used her!"

Deliberately she turned the shower off and stepped out into her apartment. Tomorrow she was to return to NERV to see him again. She would go, but she would not forget. He would soon learn that she was not her.


	2. The Shape of Things to Come

Rei stood silently on the escalator to the top level of NERV. Her nerves were steeled and her face expressionless, ready to see Commander Ikari. She would not cooperate with him. She would not allow him to touch her, to defile her, to ruin her. She did not owe him anything. She set her jaw and took a deep breath, watching the top level draw closer. When she came to the top of the escalator a boy stood there, looking at her with a half-smile on his face. He was young, as young as she, but his hair was an unearthly grey, his eyes piercing, but his manner was familiar. "You're the First Child, aren't you?" he asked plainly. "Rei Ayanami. You are the same as I am."

She narrowed her eyes, staring at the boy whose eyes were the same haunting red as her own. She had never met anyone else with eyes the same colour as hers. "Who are you?"

"The Fifth Child, Kaoru Nagisa," he replied, extending his hand. She glanced down at the hand, but did not take it. Soon he withdrew it, the smile remaining. "You are going to see Commander Ikari again."

She stared evenly at him through narrowed eyes. "How do you..."

Kaoru smiled enigmatically. "I know much about NERV and its personnel."

Rei didn't even blink, but she tilted her head slightly, narrowing her eyes further. Her lips parted slightly as she stared into the Fifth Child's eyes, gathering information, connecting. Both pilots held each other's eyes evenly, searching as though seeing straight into the other's soul. Her eyes widened as she read him, but she said nothing, kept her information inside.

"The Commander will force you."

Rei was silent for a moment, a small sigh escaping her lips. "I know," she said finally, her eyes cold and hard. "But he will never have my soul."

Kaoru's smile was sad and gentle, and he reached up and softly brushed her hair from her eyes. He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on the centre of her forehead. "Ritsuko has destroyed the Dummy Plug. You are your own, now, Ayanami."

She backed up a step and stared at him, her expression unrevealing of her shock. "Fifth Child…" she whispered, her lips barely parted. "How do you know about…Dr. Akagi…I…"

But he merely shook his head and smiled, and then moved aside to allow her to pass. "Good luck, Ayanami."

"Thank you." She did not look back, but started again at a steady pace to the Commander's office, leaving Kaoru smiling regretfully after her. 

She slowed her pace a beat. Had Dr. Akagi destroyed the Dummy Plug? That would mean that she, she alone, Rei Ayanami III, was the only one left. She smiled with a measure of relief, safe with the secret information that would keep the Commander from issuing idle threats.

She walked evenly until she reached the high, imposing door to his office. She took another deep breath, then turned the handle and slid inside. The door made a loud click as it was closed, and she tried not to flinch at the sound. Standing as far away from his desk as was possible, Rei stared evenly at Commander Ikari's face hidden behind his glasses, her hostility restrained, her anger held in check. "You required to see me again, Commander?"

"You know why you're here, Rei." He walked around his desk towards her, and for the moment she held her ground, lifting her chin and watching him with neutral eyes. She could recognise the look in his eyes now, on his face as he wet his lips with the tip of his tongue, and she fought herself not to run. He reached his gloved hand to touch her face, but she moved her face away with a twitch, and took a deliberate step backwards. He frowned, a slightly bewildered look crossing his hard features. "I thought we had gone over this, Rei," he said through gritted teeth, trying to keep patience in his voice. "I am your Commander, and you must do what I ask you to do." 

"You never asked," Rei replied with quiet defiance.

She was challenging him, and Gendo frowned openly, anger flickering across his face. Rei had never challenged him before. He stepped closer to her, looking down at her imperiously, trying to intimidate her. "You will _not _give me problems now, Rei. You are nothing without me. You are replaceable."

She swallowed hard, steadied her breathing, and stared back at him. "You're wrong," she said calmly. She shook her head insistently, and backed up from him another step. "I am not replaceable. I know that Dr. Akagi has destroyed the Dummy Plug system. I am not replaceable!" she repeated, stumbling backwards. "And I am not her!"

A stinging slap sent her to the ground as Gendo struck her hard with the back of his hand, drawing blood from her mouth that dripped down her lips. "You are nothing without me, _whore! _You were created to follow my orders, nothing else!" She struggled to raise herself to her feet only to be knocked down again by another blow to her face. "I never had to teach _her_, but she was better than you." His voice dripped with disdain and anger, and she was stung, lying bleeding on the floor before him. She said nothing, trying to hid her pain from the blow, and her surprise that he would still threaten her. 

She looked up at him evenly, anger beginning to spark in her eyes. Gendo stood before her and lifted her roughly by the back of her school uniform, dragging her bodily across the floor and throwing her against his desk. "You will learn," he hissed into her ear as he unbuckled his belt with one of his hands. He pinned her flat on her stomach over the desk with a strong hand on the back of her neck, but he would not have needed the restraint. She would not resist. Slowly she wiped the blood from her mouth with the back of a steady hand, and bowed her head in defeat. She would let him take her body this time. But he would never win. He could strike her a hundred times over, and it would only make her surer. He would never win her.

*

She slipped out of his office without a sound, her footsteps too soft to resonate in the empty corridor. She turned and spat blood at the foot of his door, her face blank and impossible to read. She smoothed her disheveled school uniform with her hands, and wiped blood from her face automatically, without emotion. She walked away this time, not giving him the satisfaction of running away. She would not run away from him. She would find a way to be rid of him. The writing was on the wall for the Commander now, and he would never win her. 

*

"Dr. Akagi."

Ritsuko looked up from her chair in a dark NERV interrogation room, barely glancing at the speaker behind her. She laughed morosely, remaining slumped over herself. "Commander Ikari."

"Rei has become..." Gendo paused, searching for the right word. "...difficult." His voice was neutral, calm, but Ritsuko could sense the anger behind his words. "She resists following orders."

Ritsuko snorted softly with a bitter half-smile. "She won't let you bed her."

"She doesn't have a choice," he snapped tersely. "What has gone wrong?"

"Nothing has gone wrong," Ritsuko replied, shaking her head with a secret smile. "She is not the same person, Commander. But I'm sure if you rough her up a little, she'll be more than willing to spread her legs for you." Her voice was saturated with sarcasm and bitterness.

Gendo stared hard into the back of her head, but ignored her barbs. "What can be done?" 

"Nothing," she repeated, shaking her head again. She tried hard to contain her angry laughter, to not laugh in his face. "She is not a robot. You cannot program her to do your bidding. She is a human, Commander, and a woman."

"She is not-" But Ritsuko felt no compunction to allow him to finish, and cut him off.

"She is as human as you are," she interrupted flatly. There was a pause as Gendo stood straight and said nothing. "Is that all?" She did not feel threatened by him anymore, and was not subtle in showing her impatience.

Glaring angrily at Ritsuko's back, Gendo turned on his heel and left the room, leaving the doctor alone again. She held her head in her hands, shaking her blond hair slowly back and forth with a mirthless, ironic smile. She knew the repercussions of Rei's disobedience went deeper than Gendo had let on. He had every right to be worried, but Ritsuko felt no sympathy for him. Forcing her to submit to him would not keep her ignorant of her true nature, of the power that was written in her DNA. As a matter of fact… Ritsuko smiled. "Perhaps you aren't just a doll, then."


	3. Inevitability

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Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed/read this story – it's very gratifying just knowing someone cares even enough to leave a review. Hopefully it's being enjoyed by everyone who's read it!

****

"Yui…" Rei flicked her eyes to the sound of the Commander's voice as he mumbled in his sleep. She squirmed a little, trying to extricate herself from beneath his surprisingly heavy arm. She snorted softly in disgust and pulled herself away from him, picking up her torn and rumpled clothes from the floor. He had done what he wanted with her body and then fallen asleep, pinning her beneath him without a thought as to whether or not she wanted to go home. This time it had been all 'Good girl' this and 'I'm sorry' that. She had not resisted him, and so he believed he had won her, and had been gentler with her. She wrinkled her nose and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, shaking out her hair. She could smell him on her skin, and she felt sick. True, she bore no marks from this encounter, no bruises, no blood, he had not threatened her, but nonetheless he had forced her. She glared back at him and dressed slowly, watching him as he spoke softly in his sleep. 

His voice was quiet and muffled, but she could still make out all of his words. "She will bring me to you soon. It is…nearly time…" Rei snorted again, setting her jaw and staring at him with detest. 

"Ever-faithful Ikari," she spat, looking down at his sleeping form imperiously. "Wasn't satisfied enough with Naoko Akagi _and _her daughter, so he had to take me as well. I hope you've seen, Yui. I hope you've seen how many _sacrifices_ he has been willing to make for you." She shook her head, straightening her dress and smoothing her hair. "He has given me your face and the hope that I will bring him to you." She shook her head, glaring into space. "No. I am not her, but more than that, I am not _you." _

Without a glance back at the sleeping form of her Commander, she turned on her heel and slipped out of the room. 

She glanced from side to side, seeing no one walking near her. Walking composedly down the hall, she noticed that it was still night. She turned a corner and slowed down, coming face to face with Kaoru.

"Ayanami." He bowed in acknowledgement. 

"Fifth Child." She cocked her head, watching him silently. He was always…around at the strangest times. "What are you doing here?"

He stepped closer with the hint of a sympathetic smile on his lips. "I could ask you the same thing." He nodded towards the Commander's room she had just left. 

Rei looked away, silent. "I'm fine," she said eventually. 

"Look at me, Ayanami." She lifted her eyes to look at him, and without warning he gently took hold of her face and pressed his lips against hers, allowing her access to his mind. 

Her first reaction was to pull away, startled by his contact. But her body remained motionless, compelled to give him a chance. Her eyes widened as images from his mind swirled into hers - images she had only sensed just watching him. _How can he…do this? _she wondered, confused and surprised. The feeling of having images from another brain flooding into her head disoriented her, but she concentrated on the pictures, trying to understand the message he was sending her. Adam, the Being of Light. Shinji. Herself. Adam. Terminal Dogma. Adam. She frowned, consolidating the information. Terminal Dogma…how would he see it…how would he see Adam? She could sense pure love, unadulterated and unconditional. He loved her, but more than that, he loved Shinji. Kaoru's emotions were so strangely pure and strong, almost…inhumanly so. Rei froze, blinking once slowly, cautiously stepping back from him. Why did Kaoru know about her and the Commander? How did he know about Terminal Dogma? How could he connect with her mind like this? Inhuman. Yes. She gasped softly and nodded. Of course. Kaoru wasn't…The Fifth Child wasn't…wasn't human. Rei could feel her heart pounding and she slid a hand over it to feel it thumping steadily in her chest. He stared at her sadly, knowing now what she learned about him. She had…known it all along, hadn't she?

But if the Fifth Child wasn't human…what was he? What was she?

"You don't owe him anything, Ayanami," he said quietly, interrupting her thoughts. He stared intently into her eyes, mirrors of his own. "You don't have to just take it from him."

"I know," she said. "I will not obey his ultimate requests."

"You can do more than that." Kaoru's voice was anxious, and his eyes darted from side to side as though ensuring no one was within earshot. "You have power much greater than what it takes just to resist him. You and I are the same."

Rei narrowed her eyes, nodding gently, feeling and understanding that what he was telling her was true. "You are worried about Shinji Ikari." She wanted to help him too, to give something back to him. 

Kaoru looked away, sighing. "Yes," he said finally. "I…I love Shinji." He looked back at Rei with pain in his ruby eyes. "I don't want to have to-"

"Shhh…" Rei held a finger close to his lips, silencing him. "Do not worry, Fifth Child. When the time comes, I will help save you." Leaving him staring at her with a mix of pride, sadness, and relief in his eyes, she turned gracefully and left him. 

"Ayanami…" Kaoru watched her go until he could not see her any longer, then looked away, and strode towards the hangar with new determination in his step.

*

"Unit 02 is activating!" The panicked 2nd Lieutenant Makoto Hyuga glanced up from his flashing monitor, alerting the rest of the staff to the problem.

Major Misato Katsuragi ran towards him, stopping on her heels to stare at the screen before her. "That's impossible! Where's Asuka?"

"She's in room 303! I've just confirmed it!" cried Shigeru Aoba, another 2nd Lieutenant. 

"It's unmanned!" Lieutenant Maya Ibuki yelped. "There is no entry plug inserted in Unit 02!"

Rei had waited at NERV long after she had left Kaoru, and she had been expecting this. She walked slowly into the sidelines of the command centre, watching the statistics and readings on the giant screens silently. She stayed in the shadows near the door, so as not to be detected, and watched quietly.

"AT Field detected in Central Dogma!" Makoto screamed, his hands flying over the keyboard.

"Is it Unit 02?" Misato sounded almost hopeful.

"No, the blood pattern is blue! It's definitely an Angel!"

Rei's eyes widened from her perch in the shadows. "The Fifth Child…of course. It is time." She turned and without a sound slipped from the room, determinedly heading for Terminal Dogma.

NERV closed up around her, personnel evacuating and doors slamming closed, but she walked on, fiercely determined to find Kaoru. "The strongest AT field ever has been detected!" Makoto cried over the loudspeaker. "Light, magnetism, subatomic particles!"

"It's shutting out everything! We can't monitor any-" Shigeru's voice faded out with a crackle as the loudspeakers died. Rei glanced briefly up at the speaker on the wall, but continued walking steadily. The Fifth Child was the last Angel. She knew where he was going. He would find Terminal Dogma, and he would cause Third Impact. She narrowed her eyes again and sped her pace, her mouth twitching into a smile. He had told her that she and he were alike, and now she knew how. Kaoru would not cause Third Impact. She would.

"Final safety system released." Shigeru's voice was dull, resigned.

"Heaven's Door is opening," Makoto breathed.

"The Angel has finally reached it." Misato shook her deep purple hair, bowing her head. "Hyuga…" She squeezed the 2nd Lieutenant's shoulder gently, sighing. She looked up suddenly as the screens began flashing in a panic. "What's going on?"

"Another AT Field!" Makoto gasped. "A field as strong as the first one has surrounded Terminal Dogma!"

"It's invading the other AT Field!" Maya looked ready to pass out, but she held her ground and concentrated on her screen.

"Impossible!" Misato cried. "Is it another Angel?"

Rei had reached Terminal Dogma, standing over top of the room before her, watching the forms of Unit 01 and Unit 02 grappling for control. She could see Kaoru before Lilith, the giant being crucified and hidden in NERV's bottom-most level. She kept her eyes on Kaoru, fighting to negate his AT Field, forcing him to lose control of Unit 02. The sensation was strange, but her sudden realisation of her own power and her determination to help Kaoru fueled her ability to fight him. She knew he didn't have the energy to keep both his AT Field and Unit 02 fighting Shinji, and Rei spread her own AT Field to invade and destroy Kaoru's. He was strong, his AT Field comparable to any other Angel, but he could not match her. She could sense his will faltering, his hesitation to return from whence he came. He loved Shinji too much, and he did not want to destroy him. "I understand now, Fifth Child," she whispered as Unit 02 collapsed to allow Shinji and Unit 01 to pass. "We _are_ alike. But don't worry. I will not allow you to cause Third Impact."

She watched expressionlessly as Shinji took Kaoru in Unit 01's hand, and she swallowed, aware of what he had to do. "I'm sorry, Fifth Child," she said softly, bowing to his small form below her. "Thank you."

From far below, Kaoru glanced over to look straight at Rei. He smiled at her, his eyes full of sorrow for her, for Shinji. But she could sense gratitude as well, and relief. She stared back at the silver-haired Angel, her eyes sad. But she was not helping to destroy him, like Shinji would think, and judging by his hesitation, what he obviously did think. No, she was helping to save him. He didn't want to cause Third Impact, not really. But he had to try: he was an angel. And she would help to stop him, to save him, so that she could do it herself. She watched Shinji carefully for another moment, bowed again, and turned away, not wanting to watch him defeat the last angel. 

*

She now stood in an orange raincoat, standing passively beside Commander Ikari, watching the giant hoses wash down Unit 01 of blood and LCL. She dared a sideways glance at Gendo, and watched him coldly from the corner of a scarlet eye. Kaoru had shown the way, but she would walk the path. Inevitability was coming at the Commander like a speeding train, and he would never know what hit him. She allowed herself a small smile. He would control her no longer. His fate was in her hands now. 


	4. Flight to Freedom

Author's Note: Sorry this has taken so long to update – my computer died, then I'd been really busy with work, and well…the usual excuses, I suppose. Here's Chapter 4 anyway.

Largosan: This is totally just for you. I've been working on it for a while, but I've been so distracted I had almost thought I would never finish it. I hadn't gotten a review in so long that yours jolted me back to reality. Thank you!

The moon rose full and bright and its light streamed into her bedroom, drawing her from light sleep. Rei Ayanami sat up slowly in her bed, blinking her crimson eyes. She needn't wonder why she had awoken. She glanced up placidly at the moon, expressionless. It was time.

She was gone in a heartbeat, leaving the desolate apartment for the last time. Commander Ikari's glasses lay completely destroyed, small shards of glasses shattered across her bare dresser.

Rei made her way to NERV headquarters through the Geo-front. She could hear explosions raining down above her, and she knew immediately where they were from. SEELE had finally decided to destroy NERV. She smiled but sped her pace nonetheless. SEELE would need the Evangelions to finish Instrumentality, since she had dispensed with the Lance of Longinus. It mattered little to her. Her goals and SEELE's were not, after all, so different. SEELE wanted to cause Third Impact and unite all humanity to a single soul. She wanted to cause Third Impact to destroy the ambitions of a single man. The corners of her mouth twitched. Not so different.

NERV fell beneath SEELE's assault. The initial attempt to overtake the MAGI supercomputers a failure, SEELE had fallen back onto force. And it would work. SEELE would find what they were looking for, for now Third Impact was an inevitability. But it would be Rei Ayanami who would have the final word.

They will be unable to locate me, Rei thought idly, slipping into a deep pool of LCL, the blood of Lilith, hidden in the depths of NERV. _SEELE will not find me before the Commander does. _She took a deep breath of oxygen through the liquid, and allowed herself to relax for the first time in weeks. Her day of judgement was here. The Commander would ask her to bring him with her, to allow him to merge with her and bring him to the spirit of his wife Yui, where they would unite humanity into a single soul. And she, Rei, created in the image of Yui, would deny him, and go alone. The world would be destroyed, but that thought didn't bother her. The more she learned about herself, the more she felt the power of her AT field and the nature of Third Impact, the less worried for humanity she was. There is always a way to reverse such things. Which was why it was lucky that SEELE was going to use the Evangelions to cause Third Impact. She smiled openly. She would use the pilot of Unit 01, the son of Commander Ikari, to bring hope for the future.

Rei had watched him closely during his battle with the last Angel, Kaoru. She had seen the depth of his love, and the way he clung furiously to any type of life, if only to sustain his own self-hatred. She also knew that he, too, hated the Commander. Such was not uncommon knowledge. He would come with her on her judgement, and she as Lilith would join with Unit 01, with Shinji inside. And together they would mark the destruction or rebirth of the world. For if she had the power to destroy it, he would have the power to rebuild it. Without Gendo Ikari. If he could make his way back to his dead wife, let him stay there.

Here in the LCL Rei was able to let herself go, to spread her AT field and begin the process that would dissolve her physical self and allow her to merge with Lilith.

She arched her back as foreign sensations flooded into her consciousness. She could feel every life force in the complex, like little tiny pinpricks of light, heightened by the LCL. SEELE's assault was total: she felt hundreds of lives end in her semi-omnipresent state. A part of her was with them as they died, as though she alone were watching over them, granting them the serenity of companionship before death. She knew it was ironic, comforting the dead when she herself was to cause the death of every being on the planet in a matter of minutes. Perhaps, like SEELE wanted, they would gain the serenity of unity with all of humanity. Perhaps Shinji would bring them back to life if he so chose. She didn't really know.

Her strength sufficiently gathered for her task, Rei lifted herself from the pool, shaking out her soft blue hair gently. Without thinking, lost in the trance of comforting the dead, she suddenly found herself standing before a wall of glass. She looked up slowly to view the broken bodies of the beings that could hold her transient soul: the beings known as Rei Ayanami. Despite herself she recoiled slightly, taken aback. Kaoru had told her that Dr. Akagi had destroyed the clones, the basis of the Evangelion auto-pilot, the Dummy Plug. But it had never occurred to her that it would look like this. Hundreds of…_her,_ really, lay broken and destroyed, floating throughout a giant tank that lined the walls. It struck her as total carnage; the LCL they floated in stained red with their blood. She closed her eyes, feeling violated, and realising fully for the first time that she was not completely human.

"Rei." It was the Commander. He had come for her. She opened her eyes slowly, and turned her head slightly to glare at him through narrowed ruby slits. "I knew I'd find you here," he said confidently, smiling the little cocksure smile that she had grown to hate. He walked closer to her and she turned fully to face him, her satisfaction at her imminent betrayal enough to dispense the vulnerability of her nudity. "The time has come. Let's go."

She turned to take a last glance at her clones as she followed him. A sudden twinge in the wide field of her mind told her that another of NERV's personnel had fallen to SEELE. Major Misato Katsuragi, the woman she knew she was supposed to know, but had never met, was dead. She felt a sudden sense of loss, as though her soul realised Misato's loss better than she did. She bent her head and stared at her bare feet as she walked, but still she walked on, following her Commander to his inevitable defeat.

"I've been waiting for you."

It was Ritsuko, sitting in wait along the edge of a pool of LCL that held Lilith, crucified in the bowels of NERV, Terminal Dogma. The Commander tore his eyes away from the figure of Lilith and turned to her, to see her leveling a handgun at his head. Seemingly subconsciously, Gendo moved in front of Rei, as though she may be Ritsuko's intended target. However, Rei felt no gratitude at the gesture, for she knew he was acting out of pure self-interest.

"I changed the MAGI's programming without telling you," Ritsuko was saying, holding the gun steady, her eyes filled with Gendo alone. "A loving daughter's final request."

Rei looked away, uninterested, and stared instead at the giant Lilith. With curiosity and satisfaction she noticed that as her own self slowly disintegrated, Lilith's body regenerated. She knew somewhere inside that Lilith was getting stronger. She was getting stronger. "Mother, let's end it together," Ritsuko was saying, her voice trembling slightly. Rei looked over sharply, selfishly worried that the doctor would steal her revenge and attempt to murder the Commander. Ritsuko slid a hand inside her labcoat pocket, but after a long pause, still nothing was happening. "It's not working! Why?" she cried, pulling an electronic device from her pocket. Red flashing light from a small screen illuminated her face, surprised and betrayed. "Casper betrayed me?! Mother, how could you choose your lover instead of me?"

"Ritsuko Akagi." It was Gendo this time, and Rei lifted her head to see that Gendo had produced a gun from within his jacket, pointing it levelly at Ritsuko. Rei felt nothing for her as Ritsuko's flat eyes fixed on Gendo, seeing nothing else, absorbed with the last sight of her lover. "I truly…" From where she stood behind him, Rei couldn't hear what he had said, and was not surprised to find she didn't care.

But Ritsuko smiled, wanly and with resignation. "Liar," she whispered, nearly imperceptibly.

She wasn't sorry for her; the doctor had hated her, after all. But that wouldn't stop Rei from being with her. She, too, had been betrayed, and deserved to know that retribution would come.

Rei turned away as the Commander pulled the trigger, but she was with Ritsuko too as she died. As the doctor dropped back into the pool of LCL surrounding Lilith, her eyes widened to see Rei's insubstantial figure before her. With her dying thoughts, Ritsuko realised that Gendo's doll would ultimately betray him.

Rei's mouth twitched in an unfamiliar smirk that soon slipped from her face as a pull inside her informed that a third acquaintance of her former self, Second Child Asuka Langley, was dead.

Gendo glanced up at the ceiling, sliding away his gun, straying a glance to Lilith. "Unit 01 has finally awoken."


End file.
